


Belief

by glassesonahedgehog



Category: Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Belief by Ben Fankhauser, Character Death, David Jacobs just wants to be happy, Drabbles, F/F, Inspired by Music, Javid Drabbles, Javid one-shot, M/M, Minor Character Death, One-Shot, Only mentions of Sarah/Katherine, Song Lyrics, javid - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-24
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-19 07:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11893149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassesonahedgehog/pseuds/glassesonahedgehog
Summary: Staring at the sunset from my roof, looking for some kind of proof. When there's none in sight I guess that's called belief. So is this belief?





	Belief

"Everytime I see the sunset, I look for something more in it as if something will pop out to me right there."

David leaned back on his palms, gravel digging into the soft skin. Manhattan was loud with silverware clinking and children playing before bed. The day had been sweltering, the temperature reaching a whopping ninety-nine degrees. His blue button-up stuck to the dip at the bottom of his spine and the collar clung to his clavicle. A brown wool vest and a pair of muddied dress shoes lay to the direct left of the boy. The sun was setting, turning the normally smog-toned sky glorious shades of orange and red with tones of purple streaks.  
David took a deep breath in through his nose. The beautiful colors reminded him of Jack's paintings of Santa Fe. His mind floated from the detailed mountains to the calloused fingers carefully creating this dream world. David traveled from the rough palms up the defined arms all the way to Jack's handsomely rugged face. Dirt from life on the streets mingled with smeared paint across Jack's jaw line. The image was so clear in David's mind he almost reached out his fingertips to trace the boy's cheekbones. 

“The paper and the TV, well they all want to save me. They point me to the sunset so I stare.” 

Sarah’s soft footsteps brought David out of his trance. She studied his face a moment and he hers, admiring the way she glowed in the lighting. After a few moments her hand rested atop his, applying enough pressure to keep him grounded. Sarah understood. Somehow she always knew. Instead of feeling scared or vulnerable, David felt protected. Everything would be safe with Sarah. Not only because she was the most compassionate sister ever, but because she was going through the same trials.   
Sarah turned to pull the day’s paper out of the basket she had brought with her. The paper was already flipped open to the article David had been thinking of all day. “Newsboys Found Dead” was printed boldly in type sixteen font. The name Katharine Plumber was printed underneath. Racetrack Higgins and Spot Conlon were the main focus of the article. The two boys had been found dead in a Brooklyn alley two months prior, beaten to death with a metal pipe. Listed were the victims, crime, and offenders. No sign of the fact that the two boys had been lovers, and that was why they had been murdered. Katharine was smart enough to leave that tidbit out and protect the name of her friends. 

“Is anybody listening to the song that I sing? Does anyone even know who I am?”

David stared at the picture of the boys smiling. He remembered when it had been taken, right after the first strike rally. All of the newsboys were celebrating Brooklyn’s agreeance to join the cause. Racetrack had even given Spot one of his prized cigars that night. The two boys had been so in love, and they were so careful too. They only revealed their relationship to the Manhattan newsboys, and never went out without a group.   
Tears streaked through the dust on David’s face. If the two most cautious boys had been found then he could never dream of coming out. The world was too hateful, too quick to judge. Knives and metal pipes lurked in every alleyway, with an angry monster yielding the end. David’s memory of him and Sarah being attacked in a dead end was pushed away as quickly as it had appeared.   
The siblings clung to each other’s hand as they mourned their friends. Both could feel the underlying fear of the same fate happening to them, but they’ve pretended long enough that sometimes they almost convinced themselves. David wondered if Jack ever felt this helpless. The New York cowboy who had lived on the streets since he was twelve and came out stronger and cockier for it. Jack Kelly knew what he wanted; a pretty girl, a set of paints, Santa Fe. David knew he wanted Jack to be happy, and as long as David was still in the picture he knew he could live with the pain. 

“If I sing hallelujah right on up to you, would your angels even give a damn?” 

As the sun finally settled under the horizon Sarah let go of his hand and went back down to the apartment. David rolled the cuffs of his black dress pants up to the tops of his shins. The cool breeze knocked the newsboy cap off the top of his head, leaving the brown curls underneath to dance and sway to the rhythm of the city nightlife. A memory of sitting in a pew in the back of church faded in front of his eyelids. The preacher spoke of God’s undying love for everyone. God never made a mistake when he created a human life. Everyone was built in His image. David wondered if he had been built in God’s image or if Satan had found a way to tamper with him. Maybe if he had gone to church more often he wouldn’t be this way.   
He began to pray. David asked why he had been cursed with such a heavy burden and asked God to take away the pain. He asked for the intruding thoughts of strong hands and a toned chest to be swept out of his mind. No more beautifully sculpted stomachs and strong thighs. He prayed to see the image of a girl next time he fell asleep instead of dreaming about running off to Santa Fe with Jack. David prayed with everything he had left in his soul. The contents of his heart spilled onto the concrete and gravel rooftop. When David finished he wondered if anyone had heard his prayers. 

“When the cowards turn to soldiers to solve all their problems I wonder what I’m supposed to believe.”

Right as David stood to climb down the fire escape, Jack had finished climbing up. They stood and faced each other. David studied the firm figure in front of him; Jack noticed the paths the tears had left. Jack crossed the distance between them in his slow and confident stride. He licked his thumb and wiped at the dust on David’s face. David took note of the way Jack’s hands felt on his cheeks, saving the memory for a later date. All too quickly Jack’s hands fell back inside his pockets and David felt cold.   
Jack was the first to sit down. He carelessly tossed his legs over the edge of the roof, his hands out behind him. David sat criss cross beside him, carefully touching his knee to Jack’s. David tried to quiet the many thoughts racing through his mind. He wanted to ask what took Jack so long to show up, tell him how he was so afraid he wasn’t there because he was dead in some alley like Racetrack. He wanted to know if he had painted anything new, or if he won at last night's game of cards, or - “Do you believe in God?” The words fell out of his mouth before he had decided to say them. “I believe in the boys sellin’ papes beside me and the art I create with my brush.” Jack replied. “Do you believe that God can never make a mistake?” David asked, because he’s already started this he might as well finish it. Jack sighed, “Davey, why are you asking me all of this?” A heavy silence settled between them. “Because I know God made a mistake when he made me.”

“And the news reporters set the plane to the people who don’t think the same. I wonder what they’re trying to achieve.”

Jack turned with a confused and sad expression. David didn’t look away, not this time. He knew what he said and he meant every word. He needed to hear Jack agree, David wanted to be let go of the weight inside his chest. He was so tired of living with so much eating away at him. He was so tired. “Is this about Racetrack and Spot?” Jack asked, staring David in the eye. “Because if it is, you know how I felt about them. I don’t care what you do as long as you’re a good person and you stay loyal to your friends.” David stayed silent. This wasn’t what he wanted, Jack was dancing around what he really wanted to say.   
“You are the farthest thing from a mistake, Davey Jacobs.” Jack scoffed. “You’re one of the smartest boys I know, I mean you’re the only one I know that actually goes to school instead of sellin’ papes all day. You take care of Les as if he was your own kid and not just your little brother, and you battled for Sarah that day the Delancey brothers had her trapped in the dead end.” David’s head was spinning and he wanted to tell Jack to stop but the words were caught in his throat. “You’ve got a heart of gold. I couldn’t hold a flame to you even if I tried.” Jack sighed, his eyes tracing over David’s face. The boy looked stricken by the confession, but not convinced. “What is it gonna take for me to convince ya that you’re enough?” Jack moved his hand to David’s knee.

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to do, I want so much to believe in you. It’s hard when there’s no justice for the peace. Staring at the sunset from my roof, looking for some kind of proof.” 

David felt as if the world had stopped moving. Everything around the boys meant nothing. The only things that mattered was Jack’s hand pressing into his knee and David’s sudden boldness. He closed his eyes gently and shut off his mind, letting his heart take the lead. In two seconds he had his lips pressed against Jack’s. They melted into each other, David’s right hand moving to rest on Jack’s hip and his left hand resting on Jack’s shoulder. Jack cupped David’s face, moving his thumb across his cheek like earlier.   
David could swear he felt Santa Fe in that kiss. Everything that Jack cared about and loved was seeping out from his soul and into David’s mouth. He couldn’t get enough of the intoxicating taste that was Jack Kelly. Jack pulled back, their foreheads pressed together. “If that’s all the convincing you needed I should’ve done that the first day I met ya.” Jack chuckled into the air between them. “Please don’t go away.” David pleaded. He didn’t dare open his eyes. Jack tightened his grip on David’s knee and moved the hand from his cheek to span across the back of his neck and bottom of his head. “I could never leave you, Davey Jacobs. You’re the reason I’m still in New York.” Jack whispered. David opened his eyes and all he saw was adoration shining back at him. 

“When there’s none in sight I guess that’s called belief. So is this belief?”

David sat on the rooftop staring at the sunset. The sounds of hushed bed conversation and faint late night antics sang him a familiar lullaby. His white button-up waved in the wind as he wrapped his arms around his knees and tugged them closer to his chest. An old newsboy cap and the day’s paper rested to his left, the noise the paper made rustling in the breeze made his heart tighten. A blurry, large photo of a smiling seventeen year old graced the front cover. Above the headline read “Third Newsboy to be Murdered this Year” in a screaming bold font.   
David shut his eyes gently and prayed. He asked the Lord to give the newsboys strength to get through the season without their leader. He asked for the money to pay for a proper funeral. He begged Him to forgive Jack and allow him a spot in heaven. David took all the blame for anything deemed unholy, not caring if he ended up in hell. Jack deserved to be happy, and heaven was the nicest place David could imagine. He prayed for it to be like how Jack imagined Santa Fe to be.   
He wasn’t sure if there was anybody listening to him, but he prayed regardless. When he opened his eyes the sky was dark and Sarah was sitting next to him. The air lifted her brown hair off her shoulders and blew it out behind her. She looked so heartbreakingly beautiful, like something Jack would have painted when he was feeling soulful. “He loved you.” Sarah spoke as though she was talking to the moon. “I loved him.” David replied in a quiet voice. Sarah nodded and the two held hands as they gazed at the stars. David wondered if this was what belief felt like, to still be holding on to life even when everything good seemed to be taken away.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun Fact - I wrote this in 3 hours the night before my first day of school for a 7 page "free" essay for my AP senior English class.


End file.
